I Need To Break Up With My OB

It's a similar situation to knowing you need to break up with your boyfriend of a year and a half. Your relationship started off great, you learned more about each other, and had some intimate moments, but these last few months have been less than ideal. He's forgotten key information about you, seem distracted when you're having a conversation, and is seeing other women.

You're afraid to break things off because there have been some good times, he's a cheap date, and you're afraid of losing mutual friends.

But, it's time.

All jokes aside, it really is time for me to leave Dr. B. As I said above, he's forgotten key information about me and has been distracted at our appointments. We've stuck with him for so long because he has helped us in the past. He diagnosed me with PCOS, gave me Metformin and after some pushing, Clomid. He's also relatively cheap since he's covered by my insurance. However, I feel like he's just giving me Clomid so he can say he tried everything to help us before turning us over to an RE. Our last appointment was what really solidified the fact that things need to end.

From having a nurse who had no idea about my medical history interrogate me about my medications to having to explain that I couldn't have my annual exam that day because I was on my period, the entire appointment was a mess.

What really made me upset was that Dr. B went back on his word again. At our last appointment, we decided that I would do three rounds of Clomid, and then we would discuss doing a laparoscopy to check for endometriosis. If we decided not to do the surgery, or if we did and everything came back clear, Dr. B would refer us to an RE with a suggestion of IVF because he had done all he could for us.

Apparently our plan changed without my knowledge. Dr. B said that if this cycle failed (Clomid cycle #2,) we would do a "few more rounds," do a laparoscopy for sure, and then talk about moving to an RE sometime in the future, around summer 2014.

I was livid. I felt like Dr. B had forgotten everything we had talked about a month ago and was just pulling a general plan out of his ass. I felt forgotten, like a number, like he had given up on me and was more interested in taking care of his patients that were easy, that were already pregnant. He also refused to do mid cycle monitoring, even though he expressed yet again his concern about us becoming parents to the next set of sextuplets. We spoke for less than five minutes before he was back out the door.

On my way out, his nurse told me that we would do my annual exam next time I was in....which would be at the beginning of my next cycle.

So, now I'm on the hunt for an RE, but I have no idea where to start. I know from a quick Google search that the nearest RE is about two hours away, but there are many more in the four hour range. I know that my insurance covers nothing related to infertility, so finding a doctor in my plan isn't a necessity.

How did you ladies find your REs? Were they referrals from your OBs or other bloggers? I'm not sure if we'll need IVF, so I don't know if comparing statistics is the correct way to go about things. I've heard that some REs charge for a simple consult, but I don't have the time or money to do consults with every doctor that's within a day's drive from us.

While I'm going to miss certain members of Dr. B's staff, I'm ready to move onto an RE. I'm excited to work with someone who gets women pregnant for a living, instead of someone who throws medications at me with one hand while they're delivering a baby with the other.