I'm currently in the TWW for my third cycle of Clomid, which obviously means the first two didn't work. Thankfully ovulation for these past two cycles haven't been as painful as the first, but I still feel a lot of twinges and pains in my ovary area. This cycle, my right ovary felt so large that it was difficult for me to walk!
If this cycle doesn't work out (which I'm having serious doubts that it will,) we have an appointment with my RE in late April to talk about next steps. I'm not sure if we'll be moving to Clomid with a trigger shot, or directly to an IUI, but either path is uncharted territory to me. I don't think we'll start either process until June because we're going on a mini vacation with a bunch of college friends in May and I don't want to be in the TWW during that time.
To be completely honest, when K was born, I "planned" (like you can ever plan anything with infertility,) to give him a sibling around the time he turned two. He turns two in August, and I'm actually glad that my plan didn't work out. K is discovering his independence and has been difficult some days (he has learned this high pitched squeal that I swear sends dogs running.) I can't imagine trying to parent him while being huge and on the hormonal roller coaster that is pregnancy. I think that giving him a sibling closer to age three will be better for all involved. At least that's what I'm telling myself when I see negative pregnancy tests.
If this cycle doesn't work out, I probably won't update again until our appointment in April. Thank you to those who continue to read and support me, it still means the world to me. <3
Wednesday, March 16, 2016
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
Surgery Results and TTC Update
Well, I had good intentions to update right after my surgery, but that obviously didn't happen.
Overall, surgery went well. It was scheduled for early in the morning, so my husband, son and I drove the night before and stayed in a hotel so we were able to get a fair amount of sleep. In the morning, we woke up, got dressed, got some breakfast for my husband and son that I was very jealous about, and drove to the hospital. I went to the check in area where I got my hospital bracelets, then was sent to the part of the hospital where the surgery was going to be held.
We waited in the waiting room for half an hour or so until my name was called. I was led back to a hallway of small rooms closed off with curtains. I was instructed to undress, put on a hospital robe, and met my nurse for the day, Ron. Ron was cracking jokes right and left, which relaxed my nerves a lot. I got my IV, signed a bunch of paperwork, and waited for my time in the OR.
At this point, my husband and son were able to come back and visit with me. My RE stopped by to say hello, and was able to meet my son for the first time which was very special. The night before, I had a nightmare where I woke up from surgery with my RE telling me things were worse than expected, so she had to preform a hysterectomy. I relayed my worry to my RE, and she reassured me that she would never make such a big decision without my consent.
Soon after, the anesthesiologist stopped by and said we were ready to roll. I gave my husband and son a kiss goodbye, and the anesthesiologist gave me some medicine to relax me. The next thing I remember is waking up in the recovery room. I wasn't groggy at all, but I had to pee so bad! I asked my nurse if I could get up to use the restroom, and she said I could either use a bedpan there, or I had to wait until I was wheeled back to my original room to get up and pee. Thankfully I was wheeled back to my room a few minutes later, and was able to get up easily and use the restroom.
I changed back into my own clothes and waited for my husband to come back. Once he was back with me, my RE stopped by and said that the surgery had gone well and she would call me the next day with the results. We were quickly sent on our way, and I was able to walk to the car with very little pain.
Unfortunately, my surgery fell on the Thursday before we were supposed to drive across the country for my husband's best friend's graduation. Right after the surgery, we hopped in the car and drove 10 hours to spend the night with my in laws. A few hours into the drive, I started to get feel some pain, like intense period cramps. By the time we had reached my in law's house, I was in a pretty intense amount of pain, probably from sitting in one position for so many hours. My RE had called in a prescription for 600 mg ibuprofen and a narcotic to my pharmacy at home, but we weren't able to stop by and get it before leaving for our trip. Thankfully my in laws had some high dose pain pills that took the edge off.
The rest of the weekend, I wasn't really in pain, but I was very aware of my uterus area. I did get a few sharp stabbings in my c-section scar when I would bend down to pick up my son, so I had my husband do a lot of the lifting that weekend. A week after the surgery, I was 100% back to normal.
The day after surgery, my RE called to say she had removed a band of scar tissue that was most likely from my c-section, but she sent it off to pathology just in case (as far as I know, it was benign.) I asked her about the trouble she had when she tried to insert the catheter during the SIS, and she said that there is also a band of scar tissue on the outside of my uterus, causing it to deviate. We talked about the game plan for the next few cycles, and agreed to do 3 cycles of Clomid.
I am currently in the TWW for my first cycle of Clomid. I had a very painful ovulation, so painful, that I was seriously worried that I had a burst ovarian cyst from the amount of pain I was feeling. I don't remember having those pains from previous Clomid cycles, so hopefully this means we got a good egg! I've been so busy with work and chasing a toddler that most of the time I forget we're actively TTC again, which is so different from when we were trying to conceive our son, and I was obsessed with every little twinge. I am hopeful that this cycle will work, but I won't be heartbroken if it doesn't. I'll update with the results of this cycle within the next week or so.
Overall, surgery went well. It was scheduled for early in the morning, so my husband, son and I drove the night before and stayed in a hotel so we were able to get a fair amount of sleep. In the morning, we woke up, got dressed, got some breakfast for my husband and son that I was very jealous about, and drove to the hospital. I went to the check in area where I got my hospital bracelets, then was sent to the part of the hospital where the surgery was going to be held.
We waited in the waiting room for half an hour or so until my name was called. I was led back to a hallway of small rooms closed off with curtains. I was instructed to undress, put on a hospital robe, and met my nurse for the day, Ron. Ron was cracking jokes right and left, which relaxed my nerves a lot. I got my IV, signed a bunch of paperwork, and waited for my time in the OR.
At this point, my husband and son were able to come back and visit with me. My RE stopped by to say hello, and was able to meet my son for the first time which was very special. The night before, I had a nightmare where I woke up from surgery with my RE telling me things were worse than expected, so she had to preform a hysterectomy. I relayed my worry to my RE, and she reassured me that she would never make such a big decision without my consent.
Soon after, the anesthesiologist stopped by and said we were ready to roll. I gave my husband and son a kiss goodbye, and the anesthesiologist gave me some medicine to relax me. The next thing I remember is waking up in the recovery room. I wasn't groggy at all, but I had to pee so bad! I asked my nurse if I could get up to use the restroom, and she said I could either use a bedpan there, or I had to wait until I was wheeled back to my original room to get up and pee. Thankfully I was wheeled back to my room a few minutes later, and was able to get up easily and use the restroom.
I changed back into my own clothes and waited for my husband to come back. Once he was back with me, my RE stopped by and said that the surgery had gone well and she would call me the next day with the results. We were quickly sent on our way, and I was able to walk to the car with very little pain.
Unfortunately, my surgery fell on the Thursday before we were supposed to drive across the country for my husband's best friend's graduation. Right after the surgery, we hopped in the car and drove 10 hours to spend the night with my in laws. A few hours into the drive, I started to get feel some pain, like intense period cramps. By the time we had reached my in law's house, I was in a pretty intense amount of pain, probably from sitting in one position for so many hours. My RE had called in a prescription for 600 mg ibuprofen and a narcotic to my pharmacy at home, but we weren't able to stop by and get it before leaving for our trip. Thankfully my in laws had some high dose pain pills that took the edge off.
The rest of the weekend, I wasn't really in pain, but I was very aware of my uterus area. I did get a few sharp stabbings in my c-section scar when I would bend down to pick up my son, so I had my husband do a lot of the lifting that weekend. A week after the surgery, I was 100% back to normal.
The day after surgery, my RE called to say she had removed a band of scar tissue that was most likely from my c-section, but she sent it off to pathology just in case (as far as I know, it was benign.) I asked her about the trouble she had when she tried to insert the catheter during the SIS, and she said that there is also a band of scar tissue on the outside of my uterus, causing it to deviate. We talked about the game plan for the next few cycles, and agreed to do 3 cycles of Clomid.
I am currently in the TWW for my first cycle of Clomid. I had a very painful ovulation, so painful, that I was seriously worried that I had a burst ovarian cyst from the amount of pain I was feeling. I don't remember having those pains from previous Clomid cycles, so hopefully this means we got a good egg! I've been so busy with work and chasing a toddler that most of the time I forget we're actively TTC again, which is so different from when we were trying to conceive our son, and I was obsessed with every little twinge. I am hopeful that this cycle will work, but I won't be heartbroken if it doesn't. I'll update with the results of this cycle within the next week or so.
Thursday, December 3, 2015
HSG Follow Up Appointment
I had my HSG follow up appointment on November 18. My RE started by saying that she had reviewed my HSG video and it looks like I had good filling and spillage from my left tube, and good filling, but undetermined spillage from my right. Any dye that spilled out of my right tube flowed behind my uterus, so it was difficult to see if the dye that we saw was from my left, or right tube.
She also noted that there was a mass in my uterus, that could be scar tissue from my c-section, or a polyp. She suggested doing an SIS to see if they could better figure out what, and where, the mass was. Thankfully, she was able to take time out of her schedule to do the SIS right away, which saved me from another 3 hour drive.
The plan was to insert a catheter into the uterus, fill the uterus with saline, and use an ultrasound probe to see the shape of the uterine cavity and whatever mass is in there. My RE had a student with her, so I gave the go ahead for the student to try to insert the catheter first. After a few unsuccessful and painful minutes, my RE decided to take over. There was lots of moving, scooting, repositioning and pain, but no matter how I laid, or how my RE tried to maneuver the catheter, she couldn't get it past my cervix.
She said she wasn't 100% sure why there seemed to be a blockage, but suggested we do surgery to explore what was blocking my cervix, and to see what the mass in my uterus is. My hysteroscopy is scheduled for December 10, at an unknown time. I will be put under for the procedure so my RE can "maneuver things more without causing pain."
I won't know the time of my surgery until the day before, so I've been in another 2ish week wait (funny how infertility revolves around those!) Thankfully the ladies in a Facebook group have been able to calm my fears and answer any questions I have. I'll update after the procedure to tell you what they found!
She also noted that there was a mass in my uterus, that could be scar tissue from my c-section, or a polyp. She suggested doing an SIS to see if they could better figure out what, and where, the mass was. Thankfully, she was able to take time out of her schedule to do the SIS right away, which saved me from another 3 hour drive.
The plan was to insert a catheter into the uterus, fill the uterus with saline, and use an ultrasound probe to see the shape of the uterine cavity and whatever mass is in there. My RE had a student with her, so I gave the go ahead for the student to try to insert the catheter first. After a few unsuccessful and painful minutes, my RE decided to take over. There was lots of moving, scooting, repositioning and pain, but no matter how I laid, or how my RE tried to maneuver the catheter, she couldn't get it past my cervix.
She said she wasn't 100% sure why there seemed to be a blockage, but suggested we do surgery to explore what was blocking my cervix, and to see what the mass in my uterus is. My hysteroscopy is scheduled for December 10, at an unknown time. I will be put under for the procedure so my RE can "maneuver things more without causing pain."
I won't know the time of my surgery until the day before, so I've been in another 2ish week wait (funny how infertility revolves around those!) Thankfully the ladies in a Facebook group have been able to calm my fears and answer any questions I have. I'll update after the procedure to tell you what they found!
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
HSG Results
Tuesday November 3rd, I had an HSG to check for scar tissue left over from my c-section. Thankfully I had an all female staff this time around, so they could emphasize with how crappy the situation was. Once I was prepped, the radiology tech inserted the speculum, and catheter which the dye would go through, but then had to pause. The doctor who wanted to look at the results wasn't in yet, so we had to wait for him to arrive. I had to lie for 10 minutes with the tech's hand in my vagina while we waited, so the catheter wouldn't fall out. Most awkward 10 minutes of my life. There's only so much small talk you can make with another woman's hand up your ho-ha.
Finally the doctor arrived, and we got the procedure underway. When the dye was squirted into my uterus, it was clear that both tubes filled, but we could only see spillage from the left tube. The doctor suggested doing another round of dye to see if we could get the right to spill, but we weren't able to see if it did.
Thankfully both times weren't too painful, besides a few sharp twinges. I had some spotting that afternoon and evening, but it cleared up by the next morning.
Thursday, I received this message from my RE:
Finally the doctor arrived, and we got the procedure underway. When the dye was squirted into my uterus, it was clear that both tubes filled, but we could only see spillage from the left tube. The doctor suggested doing another round of dye to see if we could get the right to spill, but we weren't able to see if it did.
Thankfully both times weren't too painful, besides a few sharp twinges. I had some spotting that afternoon and evening, but it cleared up by the next morning.
Thursday, I received this message from my RE:
I have a follow up appointment on the 18th at which I'm assuming we'll talk about the HSG results, results from the ultrasound, and schedule surgery. I'm hoping it's something small which can be taken care of with a simple surgery. I'm assuming it will be suggested that we don't TTC during December, so our first medicated cycle will be in January. I'll update after my appointment on the 18th.
Thursday, October 22, 2015
Test Results - TTC Baby #2
I'm happy to say that all of my tests came back negative. My glucose level was slightly high, but I wasn't told to fast before the test, so that may have been the cause. The hemoglobin a1c test shows that I do not have diabetes, which is great. My dad did send me a message, saying that both Lupus and APS are auto-immune diseases, so even though I don't have markers for them now, there is a chance I could still get it later in life. But for now, I'm good to try and conceive again!
My next step is an HSG whenever my cycle starts to check for scar tissue left over from my c-section. My cycle is due to start over the weekend, so the HSG will either be next Tuesday, or the Tuesday after, depending on when my clinic has an opening.
My next step is an HSG whenever my cycle starts to check for scar tissue left over from my c-section. My cycle is due to start over the weekend, so the HSG will either be next Tuesday, or the Tuesday after, depending on when my clinic has an opening.
Monday, October 12, 2015
TTC Baby #2
Today Keegan and I drove the 2.5 hours to Alabama to meet with our RE to talk about trying for baby #2.
There has been a lot of talk about when to try again; if we want to try again, if we can handle it both emotionally and physically. I ended up calling in August, just to see if we could get in, and originally had an appointment in September. Unfortunately that was cancelled by my RE and moved to today. Over the past few weeks, I've simultaneously wanted the days to fly by, and to slow down. I'm excited about growing our family, but I'm not excited about the medications, the blood draws, and the disappointment. I tossed and turned all night, going between dreams of having multiples and waking up knowing in the pit of my stomach that this wouldn't work again.
The biggest worry that we have is that my father has antiphospholipid antibody syndrome, which makes his blood clot too easily. He also has Lupus and vitiligo. I noticed that I have vitiligo this summer, so I knew there was a chance that his other diseases could have been passed down to me as well. I was supposed to get tested when we were trying to conceive before, but our last ditch Clomid cycle worked before I could get tested. We decided that I needed to get tested before we have try to conceive again, because if I do have any of the diseases, we will seriously need to consider if we're going to have another biological child.
Dr. M agreed with my concerns, so I got 8 vials of blood drawn to test for all of that, along with diabetes. Dr. M was concerned about my chance of diabetes because I have PCOS, had gestational diabetes, and my c-section incision still isn't 100% healed, which can be an indicator of diabetes.
When my cycle starts in November, I will have an HSG done to see if there is any scar tissue left over from my c-section. If there is scar tissue in my uterus, I will need to have surgery to remove it so that it does not interfere with an embryo implanting. If I have scar tissue on one of my ovaries or fallopian tubes, then Dr. M said we can work with the other one. I'm not sure what will happen if there's tissue on both, we didn't discuss that.
If my blood work and HSG come back clean, then we will start cycles with Clomid. Clomid worked in the past, so we're hoping it'll work again. Dr. M said she's hoping to see me pregnant within the next 6 months, and while I appreciate her optimism, I'm not allowing myself to get my hopes up.
So for now, we wait. Wait on blood results, and then wait for my cycle to start so that I can do the HSG. Again, I'm anxious to get the ball rolling, but I'm also enjoying these last few weeks of freedom from needles and dildo cams.
There has been a lot of talk about when to try again; if we want to try again, if we can handle it both emotionally and physically. I ended up calling in August, just to see if we could get in, and originally had an appointment in September. Unfortunately that was cancelled by my RE and moved to today. Over the past few weeks, I've simultaneously wanted the days to fly by, and to slow down. I'm excited about growing our family, but I'm not excited about the medications, the blood draws, and the disappointment. I tossed and turned all night, going between dreams of having multiples and waking up knowing in the pit of my stomach that this wouldn't work again.
The biggest worry that we have is that my father has antiphospholipid antibody syndrome, which makes his blood clot too easily. He also has Lupus and vitiligo. I noticed that I have vitiligo this summer, so I knew there was a chance that his other diseases could have been passed down to me as well. I was supposed to get tested when we were trying to conceive before, but our last ditch Clomid cycle worked before I could get tested. We decided that I needed to get tested before we have try to conceive again, because if I do have any of the diseases, we will seriously need to consider if we're going to have another biological child.
Dr. M agreed with my concerns, so I got 8 vials of blood drawn to test for all of that, along with diabetes. Dr. M was concerned about my chance of diabetes because I have PCOS, had gestational diabetes, and my c-section incision still isn't 100% healed, which can be an indicator of diabetes.
When my cycle starts in November, I will have an HSG done to see if there is any scar tissue left over from my c-section. If there is scar tissue in my uterus, I will need to have surgery to remove it so that it does not interfere with an embryo implanting. If I have scar tissue on one of my ovaries or fallopian tubes, then Dr. M said we can work with the other one. I'm not sure what will happen if there's tissue on both, we didn't discuss that.
If my blood work and HSG come back clean, then we will start cycles with Clomid. Clomid worked in the past, so we're hoping it'll work again. Dr. M said she's hoping to see me pregnant within the next 6 months, and while I appreciate her optimism, I'm not allowing myself to get my hopes up.
So for now, we wait. Wait on blood results, and then wait for my cycle to start so that I can do the HSG. Again, I'm anxious to get the ball rolling, but I'm also enjoying these last few weeks of freedom from needles and dildo cams.
Saturday, July 25, 2015
Update - Kieran Is Almost A Year!
Not really sure where I should start this since it's been almost 2 months since I've written here.
Life's good. Busy, but good. Kieran will be a year on August 14th and is an amazing little boy. He's pulling up, and is so close to walking. He's also babbling up a storm and his favorite word is "dada." We've started thinking about his first birthday party. We're going to do a small backyard BBQ, mostly because he's going to be one and won't remember it, but also because we're going to be coming back from vacation two days before the party, and won't have time for anything elaborate.
We've started talking about trying for baby #2. We've been loosely trying since my period came back in late April when I was about 7.5 months postpartum. I say "loosely" because we're trying the "track ovulation and have sex" approach, except I haven't been able to confirm ovulation during any of my cycles.
Cycle 1 (35 days long) there was no ovulation detected.
Cycle 2 (36 days long) the most positive OPK was on CD29, but I wouldn't call it positive enough for ovulation.
I'm currently on cycle 3 which started unexpectedly with spotting on CDs 17, 18, 19 and 20, then full blown flow on what was supposed to be CD21. I know for a fact that I didn't ovulate because I had only stopped bleeding 7 days before I started spotting again.
My periods have been a lot longer and heavier postpartum, so I'm hoping they regulate and lighten up soon. I went back on Metformin through my general physician and am back up to 2000 mg per day. It's been making me sicker than I remember before I was pregnant, but that's most likely due to the fact that I'm not doing the low amylose diet like I was before.
I also recently realized that I have vitiligo, like my dad does. I suspected that I had it for a while, because white patches can be seen on my knees when I get some sun, but in June I realized it had spread to my hands. My dad said that his got worse in his mid-20s as well, so I suppose it's just a matter of waiting to see how bad it gets. Vitiligo is an autoimmune disease, so I'm going to bring it up to my RE when we go back to her and see if she thinks it has anything to do with my infertility.
We've decided to speak to my OB and see if she's willing to do anything treatments with us before going straight back to our RE. I love working with my RE, but she's 3 hours away and since Kieran is only in childcare 2 days a week, it makes planning trips over there difficult if both Keegan and I want to go. I go back for my yearly well woman check up some time in August, so I'm going to speak with my OB then about what the possibilities are.
Hope you all are well. I'm still reading, even if I'm not commenting much. Twitter and Facebook are better ways to keep in touch with me, so let me know if you want to be friends on either of those platforms.
Life's good. Busy, but good. Kieran will be a year on August 14th and is an amazing little boy. He's pulling up, and is so close to walking. He's also babbling up a storm and his favorite word is "dada." We've started thinking about his first birthday party. We're going to do a small backyard BBQ, mostly because he's going to be one and won't remember it, but also because we're going to be coming back from vacation two days before the party, and won't have time for anything elaborate.
We've started talking about trying for baby #2. We've been loosely trying since my period came back in late April when I was about 7.5 months postpartum. I say "loosely" because we're trying the "track ovulation and have sex" approach, except I haven't been able to confirm ovulation during any of my cycles.
Cycle 1 (35 days long) there was no ovulation detected.
Cycle 2 (36 days long) the most positive OPK was on CD29, but I wouldn't call it positive enough for ovulation.
I'm currently on cycle 3 which started unexpectedly with spotting on CDs 17, 18, 19 and 20, then full blown flow on what was supposed to be CD21. I know for a fact that I didn't ovulate because I had only stopped bleeding 7 days before I started spotting again.
My periods have been a lot longer and heavier postpartum, so I'm hoping they regulate and lighten up soon. I went back on Metformin through my general physician and am back up to 2000 mg per day. It's been making me sicker than I remember before I was pregnant, but that's most likely due to the fact that I'm not doing the low amylose diet like I was before.
I also recently realized that I have vitiligo, like my dad does. I suspected that I had it for a while, because white patches can be seen on my knees when I get some sun, but in June I realized it had spread to my hands. My dad said that his got worse in his mid-20s as well, so I suppose it's just a matter of waiting to see how bad it gets. Vitiligo is an autoimmune disease, so I'm going to bring it up to my RE when we go back to her and see if she thinks it has anything to do with my infertility.
We've decided to speak to my OB and see if she's willing to do anything treatments with us before going straight back to our RE. I love working with my RE, but she's 3 hours away and since Kieran is only in childcare 2 days a week, it makes planning trips over there difficult if both Keegan and I want to go. I go back for my yearly well woman check up some time in August, so I'm going to speak with my OB then about what the possibilities are.
Hope you all are well. I'm still reading, even if I'm not commenting much. Twitter and Facebook are better ways to keep in touch with me, so let me know if you want to be friends on either of those platforms.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)