On Tuesday, I got a call from my OB's nurse officially diagnosing me with gestational diabetes.
I failed, and I failed hard
That day, the nurse called in a prescription for a monitor, test strips, needles, Metformin and iron (I'm also anemic.) I picked up everything last night (except my iron which the pharmacy forgot to give me,) and felt pretty overwhelmed.
Thankfully, K was a counselor at a diabetic camp for kids during high school, so he was able to talk me off of my nervous ledge and show me how to use everything. I'll admit that I wasn't brave enough to stick myself the first time, so K took one for the team and tested himself so we could calibrate the monitor.
I don't have an appointment with my OB until next Friday (6/6) so I'm not exactly sure what my dietary restrictions are going to be, but I have a good idea. While we were trying to conceive, my OB at the time suggested I go on a low carb, low sugar diet to try and wrangle my PCOS. I spoke with a dietitian and was given so many servings of carbs per meal and snack. Later on, I also put myself on the low amylose diet which takes the low carb diet even further, so I'm familiar with what I should and should not be eating.
I know that my biggest downfall is protein. I'm not a huge meat eater so I have to get protein in other forms, which is where I fall short. Sure, I could get some protein from peanut butter, but I like to eat it on toast or a bagel which pretty much defeats the low carb thing. I also don't like eating right away in the morning which means I typically take a waffle, muffin, scone, etc. for breakfast to eat at work. Logically, I should get up earlier and make myself eat eggs or something, but let's be honest, when I'm only getting 5ish hours of sleep a night, getting up any earlier doesn't sound that appetizing...and neither do eggs.
I'm hoping that we're able to control my levels with the help of Metformin and some changes to my diet. If that doesn't work, than I'll have to go on insulin.
I go between being ok with everything to feeling very frustrated and guilty. While K and I aren't health freaks, we don't keep sugary things like soda, chips, cakes, cookies, candy, etc. in the house. We only have fruit juice if we have guests that we'll be feeding breakfast to. I love to bake, and I haven't in almost a year so that I'm not tempted with treats in the house. Yes, we do go out for ice cream, and we'll indulge in a dessert after a dinner out once in a while, but I don't think we're excessive. I know that logically, my body just doesn't process sugar in any forms well, but I get frustrated when I see pregnant ladies in the store with a cart full of sugary, carb loaded food when I'm trying hard to do what's right. Then there's the guilt of putting Breadcrumb through all of this. I'm happy that we caught it now and I will do everything I can to make sure he continues to be safe, but I can't get over this guilty feeling that for the last 29 weeks he hasn't been healthy and it's my fault.
I also can't shake the feeling that this is yet another sign that I shouldn't be pregnant. After trying for so long to conceive, I was hoping I would have a healthy, simple pregnancy. The fact that we had to trick my body with medications to conceive and now this, makes me feel like another pregnancy in the future wouldn't be a smart idea. If enough signs point to "no," we should probably take their advice, right?
After some research, I've come up with a list of questions to ask my OB at my next appointment. Please chime in if you think there is anything else I should ask:
- Does this make me a high risk pregnancy. If so,
- how often will I be making the out of town trip to the high risk doctor?
- do you suggest I take off work early / will bed rest be in my future?
- if they're not, is taking Metformin safe while breastfeeding?
All I know is after 10ish weeks of a low carb diet, I'm demanding alfredo, a chocolate cupcake and a large Coke in the delivery room.