I've Got The Diabetes

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On Tuesday, I got a call from my OB's nurse officially diagnosing me with gestational diabetes.

I failed, and I failed hard

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That day, the nurse called in a prescription for a monitor, test strips, needles, Metformin and iron (I'm also anemic.) I picked up everything last night (except my iron which the pharmacy forgot to give me,) and felt pretty overwhelmed.

Thankfully, K was a counselor at a diabetic camp for kids during high school, so he was able to talk me off of my nervous ledge and show me how to use everything. I'll admit that I wasn't brave enough to stick myself the first time, so K took one for the team and tested himself so we could calibrate the monitor.

I don't have an appointment with my OB until next Friday (6/6) so I'm not exactly sure what my dietary restrictions are going to be, but I have a good idea. While we were trying to conceive, my OB at the time suggested I go on a low carb, low sugar diet to try and wrangle my PCOS. I spoke with a dietitian and was given so many servings of carbs per meal and snack. Later on, I also put myself on the low amylose diet which takes the low carb diet even further, so I'm familiar with what I should and should not be eating.

I know that my biggest downfall is protein. I'm not a huge meat eater so I have to get protein in other forms, which is where I fall short. Sure, I could get some protein from peanut butter, but I like to eat it on toast or a bagel which pretty much defeats the low carb thing. I also don't like eating right away in the morning which means I typically take a waffle, muffin, scone, etc. for breakfast to eat at work. Logically, I should get up earlier and make myself eat eggs or something, but let's be honest, when I'm only getting 5ish hours of sleep a night, getting up any earlier doesn't sound that appetizing...and neither do eggs.

I'm hoping that we're able to control my levels with the help of Metformin and some changes to my diet. If that doesn't work, than I'll have to go on insulin.

I go between being ok with everything to feeling very frustrated and guilty. While K and I aren't health freaks, we don't keep sugary things like soda, chips, cakes, cookies, candy, etc. in the house. We only have fruit juice if we have guests that we'll be feeding breakfast to. I love to bake, and I haven't in almost a year so that I'm not tempted with treats in the house. Yes, we do go out for ice cream, and we'll indulge in a dessert after a dinner out once in a while, but I don't think we're excessive. I know that logically, my body just doesn't process sugar in any forms well, but I get frustrated when I see pregnant ladies in the store with a cart full of sugary, carb loaded food when I'm trying hard to do what's right. Then there's the guilt of putting Breadcrumb through all of this. I'm happy that we caught it now and I will do everything I can to make sure he continues to be safe, but I can't get over this guilty feeling that for the last 29 weeks he hasn't been healthy and it's my fault.

I also can't shake the feeling that this is yet another sign that I shouldn't be pregnant. After trying for so long to conceive, I was hoping I would have a healthy, simple pregnancy. The fact that we had to trick my body with medications to conceive and now this, makes me feel like another pregnancy in the future wouldn't be a smart idea. If enough signs point to "no," we should probably take their advice, right?

After some research, I've come up with a list of questions to ask my OB at my next appointment. Please chime in if you think there is anything else I should ask:

1. Does this make me a high risk pregnancy. If so, 
• how often will I be making the out of town trip to the high risk doctor? 
• do you suggest I take off work early / will bed rest be in my future?
2. Is it strange to have such a small drop between hours 1 and 2 and then a large drop between hours 2 and 3? Is it worth re-doing the test?
3. Will I have more appointments to make sure that Breadcrumb isn't growing too large?
4. One of the biggest worries of gestational diabetes is the baby growing too large. What are my chances of needing a c-section? When will that decision be made? Is induction on the table to make sure he doesn't get too big?
5. Do I have an increased chance of preeclampsia? 
6. Dealing with infertility and now this, does this make us bad candidates for future pregnancies? 
7. Will this make me high risk for any future pregnancies? 
8. Will I need to do a repeat glucose test after delivery to make sure my levels are getting back to normal?
• if they're not, is taking Metformin safe while breastfeeding?
9. Knowing that getting enough protein is one of my biggest hurdles, is it safe to make some baked goods for breakfast with added protein powder?  

All I know is after 10ish weeks of a low carb diet, I'm demanding alfredo, a chocolate cupcake and a large Coke in the delivery room. 

Breadcrumb Week 29

How far along: 29 weeks!

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Up 15 pounds from pre-pregnancy weight as of 5/23 

Symptoms:

• food aversions, specifically protein; chicken is getting easier to eat and I'll eat beef if Keegan grills it.
• tiredness exhaustion 
• loss of sex drive
• constipation
• getting winded easier
• super vibrant dreams  
• heartburn / acid reflux - an every day occurrence. 
• round ligament pains
• fast heart rate
• Swelling - I may have to take my rings off by the end of pregnancy 
• increase in what I think are Braxton Hicks. My entire abdomen gets hard, but it doesn't hurt at all.
• I've officially had to go up a size in underwear. Apparently my backside is expanding as fast as my middle. 
• It's become more difficult for me to bend over, the belly gets in the way!
• My bra is becoming more and more uncomfortable. One of the best times of the day is getting home and taking it off. 

Maternity clothes: Yep. Not sure what to do about my shirts that are getting too small. I'm going to have to either wear dresses for the last couple of weeks, find larger shirts, or start wearing Keegan's shirts.    

Stretch marks: As far as I can tell, just two

Sleep: Another week of good and bad nights. 

Best moment last week: Our baby shower! I'll do an entire post just for the shower, but it was everything I could have imagined.   

Movement: Yep! Both my mom and my sister were able to feel movements when we were up in Missouri. I was a little worried because I hadn't felt him move too often over the weekend, but I think that's just due to driving and us being so busy. He's been rockin' and rollin' since we've been home. 

Food cravings: Water. I can't seem to get enough! I've also really been enjoying watermelon, especially out of the fridge in the heat. 

Gender: Our little man!

Labor signs: Increase in what I think are Braxton Hicks, and maybe one or two contractions

Belly button? Still shallow. Hasn't changed much recently.   

What I miss: A nice cold Coke sounds so good in this heat!   

What I am looking forward to: We start our childbirth classes at the beginning of June. I'm interested in seeing where I'll be delivering and to learn more about the hospital's policies. I also have an appointment on June 6 with an ultrasound so we'll get to see how much he's grown! 

Baby Buys: None. We did get a lot of stuff from our shower though! 

Milestones: We had our baby shower! I also took my three hour glucose test on Friday (5/23.) 

28 Week, 4 Day OB Appointment

I had a quick OB check up today to make sure I'm fit to travel the 10+ hours to Missouri this weekend (so excited!) Everything checked out fine, except for the news that I failed my 1 hour glucose test (upper threshold was 135 and I was at 160,) and I'm anemic ("normal" is between 11-15 and I was at 9.9.) I already knew this but I got a plan of action from my OB.

I'm going to do my 3 hour test tomorrow. If I fail that (which my OB seems to think I will due to my high number on the 1 hour test,) then I'll have weekly appointments with her until we figure out how to manage my levels. She said there are a few ways to do so: diet, Metformin, and insulin. I was on Metformin for over a year before getting pregnant (and up until 12 weeks gestation,) so if I have to go back on it, it'll be like reuniting with an old friend...that you want to kick in the teeth. Metformin and I don't play well together, but it is what it is.

I will say that I'm a bit nervous about insulin. Thankfully I didn't have to go down the road of injections to conceive, so this will be my first experience of having to give myself daily shots. Of course I'll do anything to make sure myself and Breadcrumb are healthy, but I'm still a bit nervous all the same. Any words of encouragement or success stories would be appreciated.

I also have a prescription for iron which I have to take twice a day with a shot of orange juice (apparently the Vitamin C helps your body to digest the iron better?)

Thankfully, Breadcrumb isn't measuring large at this point, so we're hoping to keep him that way. I'm totally using this weekend as a last hurrah and eating all of my favorite foods from my hometown. Nachos, pasta and pizza, here I come.

Anyone fail their one hour test to then pass their three hour? I've heard the statistic that the majority* of women who fail the one hour pass the three hour, so I'm hoping to fall on the good side of that statistic.

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*Statistic read on the internet, which means it's probably incorrect. Don't quote me. 

We Have Roots Here

May 19th was the three year anniversary of K and I packing up our entire lives and driving the endless miles down to Mississippi. In honor of said anniversary, I posted a collage of pictures to Facebook explaining everything K and I had done since moving (getting engaged, buying a house, buying two cars, getting married, etc.) 

At dinner, K and I were talking about the last three years and everything that's happened. He looked at me and said, "[our friend] P was right, we have roots here." It took me a minute to think about what he said, but it's true. In the last three years, K and I have both started jobs in our fields that we (mostly) enjoy. We've made friends and work with some awesome coworkers. We have a house, we pay bills to the city and state, we have an address that ends with a Mississippi zip code. 

What was once an adventure straight out of college has turned into a life together that we built through love and hard work. We've both grown up a lot in the last three years (I guess being an "adult" will do that,) and I can honestly say that these last three years have been some of the hardest, but best, of my life. 

And it all could change in an instant. 

Last week, it was reported that K's mill is up for sale. There had been rumors flying around for a few weeks, but apparently this had been in the talks with the executives for 8 months. They didn't even bother telling the workers; they found out through the paper like everyone else. 

Now, this could change everything, or it could change nothing. Another company could come in, buy the mill, and decide to keep everyone except for the very higher ups (which I think would be the smart move. The guys on the floor know how to work the equipment after all,) or they could wipe out everyone and employ their own people. What really sucks, is we won't know until it happens, which puts us in a rough spot. 

To cover our butts, K has been putting his feelers out for other positions around the country. Our dream ever since moving down to Mississippi has been to try and get closer to Missouri where both of our families are. However, due to the nature of K's job, it would be impossible for us to move super close; the closest we could be is about 2 hours, which is a lot better than the 8-14 we're at now.

Unfortunately, the jobs that have shown the most promise don't really move us any closer, in fact, one of them moves us even farther away (but it's on the beach!) There are so many logistics with a move now; we have an entire house to pack, not just an apartment. We could possibly have an infant (or I'd be 8 months pregnant,) depending on when we move. There's also the numbers game of salary and living expenses in a new city. Would I also have to find a job, or could I become a stay at home mom? So many questions, and unfortunately, no answers. Not until K either accepts a new position in a different city, or we know what happens with his current mill. 

No matter what, moving will be difficult, emotionally. If you had asked me three years ago if I'd want to live anywhere else but Mississippi, I probably would have jumped at the chance. But now? We have roots here. And roots always make it hard to leave. 

Breadcrumb Week 28 - Hello Third Trimester!

How far along: 28 weeks. Hello third trimester! 

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Up 10 pounds from pre-pregnancy weight as of 5/12; will find out if I've gained anything at my appointment on Thursday

Symptoms:

• food aversions, specifically protein; chicken is getting easier to eat and I'll eat beef if Keegan grills it.
• tiredness let's try exhaustion 
• loss of sex drive
• constipation
• getting winded easier
• super vibrant dreams  
• heartburn / acid reflux - this is now an every day occurrence. It gets worse when I lie down
• round ligament pains
• fast heart rate
• Swelling 
• increase in what I think are Braxton Hicks. My entire abdomen gets hard, but it doesn't hurt at all.
• I've officially had to go up a size in underwear. Apparently my backside is expanding as fast as my middle. 

Maternity clothes: Yep. A few of my shirts that I purchased in a "large" are getting small.   

Stretch marks: As far as I can tell, just the two

Sleep: Another week of good and bad nights. One night I was up multiple times to pee and had really bad heartburn, so I got a total of maybe 4 hours of sleep. 

Best moment last week: Nothing really stand out, just another week of growing. 

Movement: Yep! I'm feeling bigger movements (rolls maybe?) and I keep trying to get Keegan to feel them, but Breadcrumb will calm down as soon as Keegan's hand is on my stomach, the little stinker. 

Food cravings: Water. I can't seem to get enough! I've also really been enjoying watermelon and raspberries.

Gender: Our little man!

Labor signs: Increase in what I think are Braxton Hicks, and maybe one or two painful "contractions" (not really sure if they're contractions, but they hurt!)

Belly button? Still shallow. Hasn't changed much recently.   

What I miss: A nice cold Coke sounds so good in this heat!   

What I am looking forward to: Our baby shower is this weekend! I'm so excited to see our friends and families. I haven't seen my family since Christmas, our main group of friends since October, and some of Keegan's family since our wedding in 2012!

Baby Buys: Still holding out for our baby showers, but we did buy a "diaper pail," a.k.a. a trashcan. 

Milestones: I took my glucose test on Wednesday (5/14) and found out I failed on Saturday (5/17.) The "normal" range was 65-139 and I was at 160 (not sure what the units of measurement are here.) My hemoglobin was also low at 9.9 ("normal" is 11.1 - 15.9) so I'll have to take iron supplements. I haven't spoken to my OB about this yet, I just had the results emailed to me, so we'll see what she says about the 3 hour test at my next appointment.

We also met with a potential midwife, but I'll probably do an entire post about that later.

Beginning of first, second, and third trimesters

Infertility Treatment White House Petition

There is a white house petition started by The Barren Librarian to make infertility treatment and testing coverage mandated under health care law floating around a lot of WordPress infertility blogs, so I figured I'd talk about it as well so my Blogger friends could get in on the action. I've signed it and I think you should too! 

Just head over to this link, make an account (takes all of 2 seconds) and sign the petition. There has to be 150 signatures to make it publicly searchable (there's currently 38.) We all know how fast social media can blow something like this up, so let's make it happen!

Breadcrumb Week 27

Writing this at 27 weeks, 1 day so I can include information from my OB appointment. 


How far along: 27 weeks, 1 day!

Total Weight Gain/Loss: According to my OB's scale today, I'm up 10 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight.

Symptoms:

• food aversions, specifically protein; chicken is getting easier to eat and I'll eat beef if Keegan grills it.
• tiredness
• loss of sex drive
• constipation
• getting winded easier
• super vibrant dreams  
• heartburn / acid reflux  
• round ligament pains
• fast heart rate
• Swelling - I was told to get a chain for my rings so that they don't have to cut them off when I go into labor.  
• lower back and period like pains - my OB said that they're most likely Braxton Hicks contractions
• I had two contractions this weekend that were bad enough for me to turn to Keegan and tell him they hurt
• I noticed this week that my nipples and the surround area have gotten darker, but only half of them. Keegan caught me inspecting my chest and said that it was funny that my Vitiligo (loss of pigment in the skin; my dad has it throughout his body, so far I've only noticed it on my elbows, knees and scalp,) had affected my nipples. I hadn't thought of that being the cause, I thought I was just a strange pregnant lady with half dark nipples! 
• I think I'm leaking. Not so much that my bra is wet when I take it off, but just enough that I've noticed a few crusties on my nipples. 

Maternity clothes: Every day. Still able to fit into my pre-pregnancy PJs, but I've started wearing Keegan's t-shirts to bed more often.   

Stretch marks: The stretch mark I noticed last week now has a friend on the opposite side of my belly.   

Sleep: This week has been better in the sleep department except for one night when I was up 8 times to pee. 

Best moment last week: Nothing really stands out, just happy that Breadcrumb has continued to grow and give me reassuring kicks that he's doing well in there. 

Movement: Yep! I rarely feel movement above my bellybutton, it's almost always really low near my pubic bone. During my OB appointment, I was told he's still head down, so I'm sure I'm feeling more punches than kicks.

Food cravings: Water. I can't seem to get enough!  

Gender: Our little man!

Labor signs: Two painful contractions on Saturday and a few Braxton Hicks throughout the week

Belly button? Still shallow. Hasn't changed much recently.   

What I miss: A nice cold Coke sounds so good in this heat!   

What I am looking forward to: Our first baby shower is just 13 days away! My OB requested that she see me before we make the long drive just to double check everything is ok and to give me a copy of my medical records, just in case, so I'll see her next Thursday as well. 

Baby Buys: Still holding out for our baby showers, but we did buy a photo display system for the nursery. 

Milestones: I officially go to the OB every two weeks now! When I was told that, I realized just how soon Breadcrumb could make his appearance. 10 weeks until full term, and 13 until the due date. Of course he could come at any moment now, but I'd prefer him to stay in for at least another 10 weeks. 

I also had my first internal cervical check at my appointment today which, after almost 6 months of not having sex, was extremely uncomfortable.

I started the process of getting a breast pump from my insurance which they'll cover 100% as well as getting signed up for childbirth classes. I'll also do my glucose test sometime this week.

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I wanted to post something for Mother's Day, but couldn't figure out the right words. There were so many other bloggers who said exactly what I wanted to much more eloquently than I ever could, so I didn't know how to add in my voice. Just know that I'm always thinking of you all, no matter if your baby is in your arms, in your tummy or in your heart. 

Breadcrumb Week 26

How far along: 26 weeks!

Total Weight Gain/Loss: No scale, no idea. I'll find out at my appointment this week.

Symptoms:

• food aversions, specifically protein.
• tiredness
• loss of sex drive
• constipation
• getting winded easier
• super vibrant dreams  
• heartburn / acid reflux  
• round ligament pains
• fast heart rate
• Swelling - feet once this week, my hands might be a bit puffier, my rings are definitely tighter. 
• lower back and period like pains - over the weekend, I've had pretty painful lower back pain as well as period like cramps. I think they are due to walking around too much at a local festival, but I'm going to keep my eye on them. 

Maternity clothes: We're definitely getting into summer here in the south. I'm going to love dresses, maxi skirts and capris!  

Stretch marks: I might have found a stretch mark. I can't tell if it's a new one, or one that I had from weight gain when I was younger that has just gotten red and angry.   

Sleep: Very hit and miss. Some nights I'm out like a light, some nights I'm up all the time peeing and repositioning. Most nights I get up 2-4 times to pee. 

 

Best moment last week: On Monday, our area got hit pretty bad by storms and tornadoes. My coworkers, Keegan and myself were hunkered down in my work's basement to ride out the tornadoes when Breadcrumb decided to have a dance party. I grabbed Keegan's hand in the dark and put it on my stomach. Breadcrumb gave a good kick and Keegan exclaimed "woah!" It was the first time Keegan has for sure felt Breadcrumb kick and it was a nice strong one!  

Movement: Eating breakfast will get him to move, and he'll normally give me a few goodnight kicks while I'm laying in bed. So far, I can't tell if sugar or spicy makes him move any more than normal.   

Food cravings: Still water, especially with it getting hotter out, but this week I've also been liking toasted bagels with peanut butter. 

Gender: Our little man!

Labor signs: Zilch, thank goodness.

Belly button? Hasn't changed much this week. Still not sure if it'll become and outie by the end.   

What I miss: Coke/Pepsi, and not peeing so much. Keegan's best friend visited us this weekend and left a 2 liter of Pepsi with us that's sitting in our fridge taunting me!   

What I am looking forward to: Our first baby shower is just three weeks away!

Baby Buys: I was at a conference with my coworkers in the middle of the week and we stopped at Target. I found this cute 6"x6" vintage car canvas for Breadcrumb's nursery. 

Milestones: While walking around Target, I had a male worker come up to me and ask if I was having twins. After I laughed and said that I was only having one, he proceeded to tell me about his aunt who had triplets, twin girls which they knew about, and a brother who surprised everyone when he came out. It was the first time a stranger had acknowledged my pregnancy, let alone asked how many I'm having. 

I also realized we're in double digests until Breadcrumb comes out to meet us!