It's taken me longer than I wanted to get this post out due to a mix of emotions and an internal battle about if I wanted clog your readers with yet another Mother's Day post. Ultimately I decided to give it a shot. My emotions are still a jumbled mess, so this won't be the most eloquent thing you've ever read.
My first Mother's Day on the "other side" was a lot different that I expected. I'll admit that Mother's Day weekend was difficult for me. The hurtful feelings of past Mother's Days were softened by the smiling boy who brought me a present in bed on Sunday morning, but they were still there. I was in a funk all weekend, and I think it was a combination of happiness for myself, mixed with guilt, and sadness for others. I have a tendency to take on other's sadness and pain, and seeing so many of my IF friends struggling, really took a toll on me. I found it difficult to be happy and excited when I knew my excitement was causing other's pain.
All in all, I did have a good first Mother's Day. We went out to eat for lunch, did some grocery shopping, and splurged with some frozen yogurt. Keegan got me this figurine because he said that it remind him of how I often hold Kieran. I also got lots of snuggles, from both of my boys, which helped my mood.
I thought a lot about my IF friends over the weekend. Whether you had a wonderful Mother's Day, or you spent the day counting down the hours until it was over, I thought of you.