Dear waitress at Applebees,
I won't blame you for seating us at the table across from the adorable six month old baby girl who was sitting on her parent's table, cooing and babbling away; that was totally the hostess's fault.
However, I do have a bone to pick with you. Here I am, trying to ignore the fact that I started spotting after yet another failed cycle by stuffing my face with Coke and your delicious boneless wings, but that proved hard to do when every time you stopped by our table, you decided to talk in a high cutesy voice to the baby across the way. Yes, I realize she's cute, (her bib even says so!) I didn't need to be reminded every five minutes. Her parents were doing a fine job entertaining her, they really didn't need you to stop by and play with the baby while the rest of your customers were waiting on their food.
Next time, how about you focus on serving us our food instead of the baby that makes my uterus hurt with every smile she sends my way (oh wait, maybe that was the cramps.)
Be thankful my husband is a nice guy and left you a good tip,
P.S. The way you fill up my drink annoys me. How difficult is it to take my cup away and fill it up instead of dirtying another one by using it to fill up my drink? They have these things called pitchers which do just that.