Pregnancy Is Scary

When we were trying to conceive, I knew my body pretty well. So well, in fact, that I could pinpoint down to a 12 hour window when I ovulated. I knew that a specific cramp meant ovulation, while another type meant my period was on its way. I felt in tune with my body, and while it wasn't doing what I wanted, I at least knew what it was doing.

Then I got pregnant and that all went out the window.

Pregnancy, whether you went through infertility or not, is full of worry and concern. From worrying about a heartbeat to genetic testing results, pains, strange symptoms, you worry about everything. Personally, I have no idea what my body is doing, no matter how many forums, apps, or blogs I read. Not knowing can be scary, especially when you're trying to decipher if a cramp is your uterus stretching or a sign of something more serious.

Wednesday night, around 7 in the evening, I started having painful period-like cramps that caused my stomach to tighten. I was somewhat concerned, but I figured I was just tired, so we went to bed early. I was awoken a few times throughout the night by the cramps, and they continued into Thursday morning. Mid-morning on Thursday, I emailed my OB's nurse to let her know what was going on just in case, and she called me mid-afternoon. After explaining to her what was happening, she sent me home from work to lie on my left side and drink as much water as possible. Laying down was difficult since I was up every 15 minutes needing to pee, but after about two hours, the tightening seemed to slow down even though the cramps were still there. My nurse called me back before the end of the workday and told me that if it got worse, or if I started bleeding, to go to the ER, but otherwise it was a wait and see situation and I could come into the office on Friday if I felt I needed to.

Another early night for us, and I slept pretty soundly. The cramps are still happening this morning, but the tightening is more infrequent. I had originally thought these were really early Braxton Hicks, but my nurse said that it's too early to feel them; most women don't feel them until the second or third trimester even though they start around 6 weeks. I'm declining an appointment for today unless things get really bad because I feel like there's not much my OB can do.

This is a whole new world for me, and it's scary. I know that certain pains are normal for pregnancy, but when does "normal" become worrisome? Is that something that you just know?

I don't really have an eloquent way of ending this post. Everyday I am thankful to be pregnant, but being in the dark with what my body is doing is a strange and unsettling feeling for me. Has anyone else felt like they're not on speaking terms with their body anymore?