Unexpected Next Steps

This morning I had an update appointment of sorts with my doctor which didn't go quite as planned. I went into the appointment fully expecting to talk with Dr. B about either trying a few more cycles naturally or starting on Clomid. However, he had a different plan.

At the beginning of the appointment, I was taken back for my date with the dildo cam, and was told that I still have a 1 cm cyst on my left ovary. This stubborn cyst has been there for my last three appointments, so since at least December/January. Neither the ultrasound tech, or Dr. B was too worried about it. The good news is that I had a corpus luteum which means that I for sure ovulated this cycle! I wasn't told which side it was on, but nonetheless I'm happy.

After a small sit in the waiting room, I was taken back to talk to Dr. B. His nurse came, took my weight, blood pressure, and my cycle charts that I had printed out. A quick flip through a magazine brought Dr B into the room. He first commented on the fact that he was happy that I had ovulated during my last two cycles which is a huge step forward. He nicely told me that I had a 5 pound increase in my weight and that I need to make sure that I'm sticking to my low carb diet (the bane of my existence,) and to work out at least 30 minutes each day. He then got serious.

He said that he wanted to talk about our next steps. He doesn't want to put me on an ovulation enhancing drug like Clomid because the Metformin is allowing my body to ovulate on its own. He then said that they typically don't do a full infertility work up until a couple has been trying for a year, however, we are a "special case" (I'm assuming because of my PCOS.) He asked if we were interested in doing the work up and said that it doesn't have to be done right now if we don't want to. I told him that I'd rather get it done sooner than later because I don't see the point of trying for another year if male factor infertility or blocked tubes would hinder us conceiving. Dr. B agreed and said that he was going to send Keegan for a semen analysis.

I was totally taken aback by this suggestion. I was expecting to do some more tests on me and have Keegan looked at down the road. The only "problem" with the semen analysis is that the hospital at which I see Dr. B (which is in our town,) doesn't do them. We (well Keegan,) either have to go to Dr. B's sister hospital in Amory, MS which is about 45 minutes away, or another hospital in Starkville, MS which is also a 45 minute drive. If we lived closer to Amory, the lab would allow Keegan to give his sample at home and then drive it to them as long as we could get there within 30 minutes. The lab in Starkville only allows samples to be given in the hospital. Since Keegan works about 20 minutes from Starkville, I figured that would be the easiest for him to get there either after work or at his lunch break, so that's where I had the request written for.

Since we hadn't previously discussed the idea of this, Keegan was quite shocked when I told him. I stressed to him that we don't have to do this right now, it would just give us piece of mind that there wasn't an additional problem hindering us. Throughout the day, we've been talking about it on Google chat and from what I can tell, he is most freaked out about the idea that people are going to be touching his man parts. I told him (while laughing to myself,) that all he has to do is ejaculate into a sterile cup and give it to the lab tech so that they can make sure his swimmers are nice and healthy. Sometimes I forget that he hasn't done all of the research or read all of the blogs that I have, so I can see how he automatically went to the "turn your head a cough" scenario.

It would be awesome if you ladies could leave some stories of how your partner's semen analysis went. I think that with time, Keegan will warm up to the idea (well as much as someone can,) and will see the value of the information we can gain from the process, but a few "it wasn't that bad," stories can't hurt.

As for me, Dr. B told me to call his nurse whenever I start my period so that he can schedule when I'll be coming back. I'm not sure if my next appointment will just be another follow up, or if he's going to run a few tests. I know that I'll have blood work done before the appointment so that we can check my insulin levels as well as my cholesterol because they was abnormally high the last two times. Basically, I just have to keep trucking along, doing what I've been doing until told otherwise. For the first time ever, my Metformin dosage wasn't increased so I'm still taking 2000 mg/day.

To end the appointment, Dr. B said that if I don't start my period by Wednesday, take another pregnancy test and call with the positive results. I looked at him and laughed. If the 5 tests I've taken so far haven't come up positive, I'm not expecting anything different on Wednesday.

So ladies, if you would be so kind to leave any stories or advice about a semen analysis, that would be great. I'm still not sure if we're going to go through with it, but it would be nice to know what we're potentially getting ourselves into.

I hope you ladies are having a less rainy day than we are!

*Edit:* Question regarding the pregnancy comment: If I was pregnant, wouldn't the ultrasound have shown that? I mean, I know that the tech went straight to the ovaries, but wouldn't it have been obvious? Or, is 13dpo too soon for there to be anything "substantial?" I'm leaning towards the idea that there's nothing there this early, but I just wanted to pick the brains of you helpful ladies! 

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

On the left, my first bottle of Metformin. On the right, my current one. 

200 Days

Last night I took the last vitamin in my 200 pill bottle. That means that I've been on this road for 200 days (well technically a few days more, but you get the idea.) I realize that the time I've spent battling infertility is nothing compared to the years that other women go through, but looking back, it's amazing how much I've grown in a few months.

When we first started this journey, I was so scared. I had heard about PCOS before, but I never in a million years thought it would happen to me. Now, thanks to some research and the help of the amazing community I've become a part of, I'm not as scared. There is still the little voice in the back of my head that whispers late at night that we'll never have our baby, but I'm able to quiet the whispering with the knowledge that I have an amazing doctor, support from my friends and family (and my girls on the internet!) plus the help of modern medicine on my side.

I'm stronger, wiser, and a little more jaded than I was 200 days ago. But I still have hope, and that's what matters.



P.S. - I'm officially calling this cycle a bust. I've been taking internet tests since Thursday morning plus a First Response yesterday and they're all negative. I thought I saw a faint second line Saturday morning which is what prompted me to buy the First Response test, but it was negative as well. I'm expecting my period to come on Thursday. I have an appointment sometime in the next two weeks (I have to call and confirm when it is,) and I believe we're going to be talking about the next steps then.

I Think I Have A Problem...

...I think I'm a pee stick-aholic.

Admitting you have a problem is the first step, right?

Now, I've never been one to take a pregnancy test before a day or two before my period is supposed to arrive, and I'd never take more than one once I saw a negative test, so I have no idea what is going on with me this cycle.

Like I said in my last post, I took a pregnancy test on Thursday at 6dpo and it was negative. Before, I would quit after seeing only one line, but I also tested Friday morning and this morning (Saturday). Both were negative. I don't know if I have this urge to keep taking tests because I didn't take as many OPKs this cycle as I usually do, and I'm going through withdrawl, or what, but I want to pee on all the things!

Source

I only have three internet tests left, so logically I should save those for when (if) my period is late, but with how things have been lately, they'll be gone by Tuesday. Guess I should go ahead and order some more.

Think there's a Pee Sticks Anonymous?

So, I tested tonight...

...and it was negative. Like stark white, no second guessing, negative.

I don't know why I tested. I'm only 6dpo so I know it's too early to tell, but I just had this urge to pee on something (probably because I haven't peed on anything in 5 days and I'm having withdraws,) so I did. Well technically I peed in a cup...but you get the idea.

I think this cycle was the cycle I had the most hope riding on. Maybe it's because things seemed so dark early on but turned around after I found out I had actually ovulated. Maybe it's because I've felt so different lately. The headaches, the bloating, the sore boobs, the 10 pounds I've magically gained, all of it made me feel so different which automatically means this cycle worked, right? Maybe it was the spike in temperature this morning that got my hopes up, I don't know. I just felt like this time would be the one. I know that it's early and that in a week or so I could get a positive, but my hope has turned back into a small pinprick. I probably won't test again unless my period is late (I say this now, let's see how I'm doing in a few days.)

If this cycle ends up not working out, I'm not sure what our next steps are. I've talked to my doctor about starting Clomid, but he doesn't seem too eager. I have a question for you ladies out there who have used Clomid. I know that Clomid helps you ovulate, but does it help those of us who are already ovulating on our own? At the beginning of our journey, I wasn't ovulating, but now that we've gotten my levels in check, it seems that I've ovulated on our last two cycles (at least I've gotten two positive OPKs and Fertility Friend has given me cross hairs.) Would Clomid just boost the number of eggs I release? Is it worth the time and money if I'm ovulating on my own? I just want to be more informed on the subject before I go to my next appointment and advocate one way or another. I know that you don't know my medical history and you're not doctors, but any stories and advice would be greatly appreciated.

Keegan doesn't know yet. I probably won't tell him until I get my period so that at least one of us can hold onto the hope.

Weekend Review and Cycle Update

So I'm finally getting around to writing about our weekend in Missouri. To sum it up, it was tiring and hectic, but that's normally the case with my family. Both of my sisters were home for spring break, so my mom had all of her daughters home for her birthday. Keegan and I were able to surprise my mom at her preschool which was awesome. I wish I had a camera with me because her expression was priceless. What made this visit more....interesting...than the others was the fact that the cops had to be called.

Some back story: My youngest sister, C, is in high school and along with that comes high school drama. She recently broke up with her on-again, off-again boyfriend of two-ish years. Apparently he didn't take well to the break up, and him and his friends have been egging and TP-ing my parents house (we think, so far there isn't any concrete proof.) Anyways, Friday night, my middle sister, B, was coming home late at night with her boyfriend and noticed a group of high school boys walking towards my parents house. This is strange because my parent's neighborhood is filled with either families with college aged kids, elderly couples, or families with babies. There aren't any high school aged kids around. So B automatically assumed that they were coming to egg my parent's house again. She started walking towards them and they bolted towards their truck which was parked down the road. B's boyfriend, J, followed the truck for a while to see where it would go. The truck drove around the general area a few times, not realizing they were being followed, and then doubled back to go back to my parent's house. J pulled up beside them and got a general description of the kids inside as well as the license plate number. The next day, my parents called the police with the license plate number and description of the kids.

Saturday night, my mom was letting one of the dogs out the front lawn and noticed some high school aged kids near our house again. Apparently she got so frustrated that she just started yelling at them in the middle of the road in her pajamas. My family is classy I tell you.

What is truly amazing about this whole experience is that Keegan and I were sleeping in the living room, right by the front door and heard none of this. I guess this shows how exhausted we were from the long drive!


Anyways, onto the stuff that I'm sure you're more interested in.

When I put in my temperature yesterday, I got cross hairs! Not as exciting as the first time I got them, but still nice to see that my body is doing something right for once. As you can see, we sexed the day after my positive OPK which was also the day before ovulation. The cross hairs plus sexing before ovulation has put a little glimmer of hope back into this cycle when before it seemed pretty unlikely. Now I'm in the two week wait at 5dpo. I don't think I have any pregnancy symptoms. I've had a headache from hell since last night, my boobs are tender, and I had a little bit of cramping, but those are also signs of my period coming, so I'm not getting my hopes up. So, now we wait. I'm not sure if I'm going to test. Part of me wants to, but part of me hates wasting money, so we'll see how I feel in a week or so. 

Hope everyone else is having a good week! 

Sometimes You Just Have To Laugh...

I promise to have a real post about my weekend and how this cycle is going up soon, but until then, enjoy this comic that I found from an old post at Gypsy Mama's Misconceptions. I don't now whether to laugh or cry at how true it all is.