June Blogging Challenge Day 30 - Last Day!

I can't believe that it's the last day of Waiting For Baby's June Blog Challenge! It was nice to blog about things other than TTC for a while and I hope that you learned more about me besides my ovulation dates. I know I missed a few days, but adding in TTC updates means that I blogged every day this month! While I don't think I'll continue that trend in the future, hopefully I'll get in the habit of posting more often.

So today, the last prompt of the challenge is, "What's one thing in your closet you wear when you have a nice occasion? Interpret that as a date night or important job event."

At the end of May, my work had its annual fundraiser. Every year we've had our gala at our gallery, but this year one of the richest families in town donated their house mansion for the event. All of a sudden, what was normally a casual dressed event turned into something much more formal. We don't have many stores in my small town, so I was stuck with Old Navy.

For some strange reason, the trend these days is the "natural waist" look on dresses which looks absolutely horrible on me. After striking out with all of the dresses at Old Navy, I said what the hell and headed to the maternity section.

Et voila, I found my dress.

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It's blue with eyelet detail at the bust. It can be worn with our without the straps and is super comfortable. I wore it for the gala as well as running errands around town. I was so worried that since it was made for a growing belly, that it would make me look pregnant, but it made me look less so than the other non-maternity dresses I had tried on earlier. The bonus is, I can wear it now, as well as when I get pregnant! 

June Blogging Challenge Day 28 - Je T'aime Mon Petits Choux

Today prompt is, "Do you speak any other languages? When do you think a child should learn a new language?"

I personally don't speak any languages fluently. I took French in high school because one, I need a foreign language to graduate and two, my parents were born in Canada and both grew up with French as their (somewhat) second language.

While neither one of my parents grew up in Quebec, the French speaking part of Canada, French is to Canada like Spanish is to America. Many of the inhabitants of Canada speak French. On many products, the information and directions are in both French and English. Both of my parents grew up learning French in school, all the way up to Grade 13.

Anyhoo, I started my French speaking experience in 9th grade, partially because my dad suggested it, and partially because I wanted to rebel against all of my friends who were taking Spanish. I thought it would be great to have my dad help me with my homework, but that didn't turn out so well. Turns out I was learning France French and my parents knew Canadian French. While the two are quite similar, it's comparable to having someone from Alabama speak to someone from Boston. The basics are the same, but there are slight differences that make them almost two different languages. There were many instances of late night studying where I'd get frustrated because I was taught something by my teacher while my dad had learned something different.

Even though I was told I would have to take a foreign language in college, I wasn't, so my French experience stopped in junior/senior year of high school (I graduated a year early from high school, so technically my junior year was my senior year because it was the year I graduated. Confusing, I know.) I've still held onto a few phrases that would allow me to survive if I suddenly woke up in Paris, but a few of my favorite are, "ferme ta bouche" (shut your mouth, or shut up) and "mon petit chou" which means "my little cabbage" which for some strange reason is an affectionate term.

While I'm not sure if a child learning a second language is vital to their development, I certainly think it's cool, and I can see it being very important if their parents/grandparents speak a different language. Back in my hometown in Missouri, there was a French immersion preschool that I would have loved to have my child(ren) go to. For one, it would have helped me practice my French, and two, I think it would have been cool for my child to be able to insult the bully on the playground in a different language. Kid can't get in trouble if the teacher doesn't understand, right? I've also heard that children learn multiple languages easier when they're younger which makes me question why I couldn't graduate high school without learning how to ask where the bathroom is in another language.

I apologize to anyone who speaks French for the butchering of the language that happened in my title. I'm a bit rusty. 

June Blogging Challenge Day 27 - When I Grow Up...

When I was in elementary school, I wanted to be a vet. However, I grew out of that when I realized that I would never let an animal be put to sleep (unless necessary,) which meant I would ultimately become a crazy cat and dog lady.

Once I hit junior high, I had this odd fascination with crime dramas, specifically Law and Order SVU. Don't ask why, I just did. Anyways, in 9th grade, for one of my classes, I had to job shadow someone in a field that I thought I'd like to make my career. The odd child I was, I wanted to job shadow a coroner. My dad somehow knew a coroner and basically played match maker for me. I don't really remember much, but I do remember watching him preform an autopsy and seeing a man's face peeled off his skull. And then we went to lunch.

Once I realized that I would have to go to school as long as a doctor would, but wouldn't get paid as much, I said screw that. High school came around, and I used up all of my elective classes in art. I took almost every art class my school had to offer and I couldn't see myself doing anything else for the rest of my life.

After graduation, I threw caution to the wind and I got my bachelors of fine arts with a minor in art history as well as a minor in textile and apparel management. Once we moved to Mississippi, I was pointed in the direction of an art gallery and I never left. I'm lucky enough to have a husband whose income allows me to keep a job that barely pays enough to keep gas in my car. If it wasn't for him, I'd certainly be living in a cardboard box.

June Blogging Challenge Day 26 - Newbie Advice

Ah, newbie advice. Below are some things I wish people had told me when I first started down this road to infertility.

• First and foremost, have the most wild, kinky, racy sex with your husband/partner now, because in a few months, whenever you mention sex, he'll roll his eyes at you and then promptly fall asleep after the deed is done. I know it's hard to imagine, but sex stops being fun. 
• Remember that your husband hasn't been spending all of his working waking hours researching, reading, and consulting Dr. Google, so his knowledge of infertility is probably pretty limited. Don't get frustrated that he's less than enthusiastic when you tell him that you got a smiley face on your OPK so you have to DTD (otherwise known as TI) and you have EWCM so now's the best time. Oh, and that you'll wait to test until 14DPO so that you don't get a negative pee stick. 
• You'll have friends, especially on Facebook, who will complain announce their pregnancy on the day that you've found out your most recent cycle was a negative. They have this handy "hide" button so that you can hide those posts until you're ready to see baby bumps and sonogram pictures again. Use it.
• People will give you assvice such as "just relax," "maybe it's God's will" "perhaps you weren't supposed to be parents," etc. Ignore them. If you must interact with them later down the road (relatives, co-workers, your husband's boss,) politely excuse yourself from their presence and then come bitch to us. We'll have your back. If you just really don't like them, or are never going to see them again, feel free to go on a 15 minute rant about your husband's wonky sperm and why drinks on the beach aren't going to get you knocked up. 
• Along those lines, get a good support system. Sure, your husband/partner and your family (if you tell them) can be good cheerleaders, but they (probably) don't know what it's like to wake up at the ass crack of dawn to have yet another ultrasound tech stick a condom-covered camera up your ho-ha. Either join your local RESOLVE group, find a close girl friend, or start a blog as a way to talk to someone who knows exactly what you're going through. 
• Yes, having someone other than your significant other look at your lady bits is embarrassing the first time around. Just remember that this is what s/he does for a living, so to them, it'll just be another day at the office. I promise it gets easier. 
• While we're struggling to pop out one kid, the rest of the world will continue to procreate. Do what you need to do in order to survive baby showers. A few tips:
• One day when you're feeling strong, do all of the baby shopping for other people that you think you'll need for the year. Or, while buy things you didn't realize you needed at Target, pick up all 10 of those baby onesies that are on sale. You never know when someone in your life is going to get knocked up, so having a stash of gender neutral gifts in you closet makes it easer to deal with a baby shower rather than having to go shopping the day after your IVF cycle was canceled. 
• For me, the general rule about baby showers is: if you know them well (i.e. family members, a close co-worker, your maid of honor,) you should go to the shower. I know it sucks, but it'll mean the world to them. If they're someone you don't see all that often (a third cousin, some random lady from accounting) then while it would be nice for you to go, it's a little more acceptable for you to come up with an excuse. Just make sure to send a gift or a card so that they know you're thinking about them. 
• This road is long and hard, so I think that finding small ways to treat yourself is important. If you're on Clomid, treat yourself with a massage for not killing your husband in a hormone induced rage. If you're doing IVF, give yourself a handful of M&Ms after your injections. If you have yet another failed cycle, make your husband be DD and treat yourself to a strong drink (or two.) 
• While Dr. Google can be helpful, take his (her?) advice with a grain of salt. While yes, there is that random woman out there who got pregnant after standing on her head while eating pineapple and drinking pomegranate juice, that doesn't mean that it'll work for you. You're paying your doctors the big bucks for a reason, so while they don't always seem like they know what they're doing, you should probably listen to them before that random woman on the interwebs. 
• That being said, it's important to be your own advocate. While your doctor may not always fulfill your wishes, s/he should be respectful enough to hear you out. 
• I think the most important piece of advice is to keep a strong relationship with your partner. Having a child will not fix the cracks that infertility creates, so having a strong foundation before bringing a child into this word is important. Realize that this time is difficult on your partner as well, even if they're not the ones sticking themselves with needles every day. Take time to be with each other and not talk about infertility. Remember that you're with your partner, not for their baby making abilities, but because you fell in love with them.  

This time is tough, but if you're able to persevere through it, I promise it'll be worth it in the end.

If you'd like some more advice, go check out Stupid Stork's post. She's wonderfully witty and gives awesome advice.

So ladies, did I miss anything? What would be some advice you'd give to someone who just found out they'd be going down the infertility road?

June Blogging Challenge Day 24 - What's In My Purse?

I honestly thought I had a more exciting post for today's prompt of what's in my purse, but turns out my purse is very boring as of right now.

First of all, I own a purse made by PeaceLoveNPolkadots on Etsy. It originally had a large bow, but I figured the plain gray purse could be more professional. It is most expensive purse I own at $35, but I love it. It's huge inside while not looking huge on the outside and it's made out of upholstery fabric so it's super sturdy.

First thing in my purse is my wallet. Yes, it's a zombie. I worked at Hot Topic while in college and I got a 40% discount on everything in the store. I have so many shirts and shoes from HT that I can't really wear anymore since skeletons and blood splattered high heels aren't that professional. 

Next, I have my planner. I had seen so many bloggers rave about the Erin Condren planners that I asked Keegan to purchase one for me for Christmas last year. He didn't feel comfortable picking out the pattern that I wanted, so he just gave me permission to purchase it on my own. 

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My planner has a quote on the bottom that says, "When the world says "give up," hope whispers, "try it one more time." When I ordered my planner, we were just beginning our TTC journey. I never realized how true that quote would become. 

I also have a purse organizer. 

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I saw the organizer on GroopDealz, but I didn't purchase mine in time, so I contacted the original Etsy designer, MadelineandCompany and purchased mine through her, but in gray. I like the organizer, but since my purse has soft sides, it doesn't really stay expanded. I think it would work better if I had a hard sided purse. 

In my organizer, I have a cheap digital camera, a few pens, a bottle of Naproxen for when I have horrible period cramps and a bottle of Ondanestron for curbing really bad Metformin nausea. Oh, I also randomly have a bag of raspberry tea for whatever reason. 

The only two other items in my purse are a black umbrella because it's supposed to rain here all week and half a bottle of water that I just can't seem to throw away. You know, for that time when my car breaks down in a desert or something. 

Oh, I also have my keys hooked onto my purse strap with a purple carabiner. I have my car's key fob, a key to unlock my work, a key to my house, a key ring card for Walgreens, Pet Smart and Kroger and an Alice in Wonderland "drink me" key chain. Yet another Hot Topic find. 

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So what about you ladies? What's the strangest thing you've ever had in your purse? 

Your Child Is "Different" - What Would You Do?

So, in addition to my June Blogging post which I'll have up later tonight, I want to write a post about a potentially controversial topic. And because it's controversial, I'm going to put this disclaimer:

Anyone making rude, hurtful, or discriminatory comments will be deleted. If you don't like what I have to say, you don't have to read. 

I follow Renegade Mothering, and I have for a long long time. She's one of my favorite bloggers because she is open and honest at how hard being a mother can be. Also, her kids are adorable. Today on Facebook, she posted that she wrote an article on AllParenting.com about a transgendered child by the name of Coy who was born with male anatomy, and is a triplet of two sisters. "However, according to her parents, Coy has identified with the female gender from infancy, preferring dresses and "girl" toys and asking people to call her a girl. By kindergarten, her parents allowed her to fully embrace her female identity and asked the school to treat her exactly like any other girl."

"At first, the school did just that, even allowing her to use the girls' bathroom. But a few months into her first grade year, the school decided Coy needed to use a bathroom in the school nurse's office, but not the girls', for fear that students and their parents would find the arrangement inappropriate or disturbing." You can read more about how the school handled the situation as well as Janelle's take on the situation in the rest of the article.

I don't really want to talk today about if/how a child knows that s/he is in the wrong body. I want to talk about how you as a parent would handle a situation like this.

One of my biggest fears as a potential parent that I didn't talk about last night is my fear that my child will be "different" in some way, whether that be a disability (mental or physical,) a change in sexuality, being gay/bi, etc. Let me be clear: I would love my child no less if they were "different" in any way shape or form. I am, however, scared of having to be my child's rock, role model and biggest supporter when the world can be so cruel.

So, my question I pose to you, women who are already mothers, are mothers to be, or are hoping to become mothers one day: If your child differed from the "norm," what would you say to them? What would you say if their school didn't accommodate them? What if someone on the street came up and said something to your child?

I'm scared of a situation like that happening. I absolutely hate confrontation, so I'm nervous that I would clam up and not be able to defend my child in a way they needed. Perhaps my shyness would disappear once someone confronted my child, but it's still a situation that worries me. I am in awe of the parents that stand up for their children in such public ways.

I would like to try and have a discussion about this. If you have any thoughts, please leave them in the comments.

June Blogging Challenge Day 24 - Mama Fears

Today's prompt is, "What's your biggest fear about becoming a mom?"

Oi vey, as much as I want to be a mama, I'll admit that I'm scared.

I'm scared of...

• My son getting a girl pregnant, having to drop out of school and work to pay child support
• My daughter getting pregnant in high school (or before!) and dropping out
• Passing on the family diseases 
• Potty training a boy
• Having to teach my daughter that her self worth doesn't come from how skinny she is or what designer clothes she has
• Having to teach my son that his self worth isn't from the girls he's slept with or what car he drives
• Having to explain death and why things like bombings and war happen
• The first instance of bullying
• The first heartbreak
• The constant "am I doing what's best for my child?" question that will run through my head for the rest of my life
• That I won't bond with my boys as much as my husband does
• That we won't be able to spend as much time with my children's grandparents and extended family as we would like
• That my husband will work too much and will miss out on things like first steps and their first word
• Having to raise children in such a materialistic world
• Trying to convince my children that their quirks and personalities are what make them amazing and unique, that they don't have to be like every other child in their school. I hope that my children will have the courage to be themselves and not like everyone else. 

And let's be honest here, I'm scared that...

• My body won't be able to handle being pregnant 
• My body won't be able to handle child birth and I won't get the med-free natural birth I want
• I won't be able to breastfeed, something that I really want to do
• And for the sake of being really truly honest, that my body will never be the same

But I know that all of these fears will be worth it when...

• My child stands up against a bully for their friends 
• My child goes against the grain and wears/does/says what s/he wants, no matter what society is telling them to do
• I get those hugs and kisses, especially in front of their friends when it's not "cool"
• When my children grow up to be successful, respected members of society

I know that some of these fears, like having to potty train a boy are somewhat silly, but others, like the rising teen pregnancy rate and having to explain death are something that I really fear as a potential parent. I know that Keegan and I will be able to overcome these challenges as a team, but it's still something that I think about once in a while.

So, what about you ladies? What is your biggest fear about being a parent?