The Beginning of the End

Yesterday I took the first placebo pill of my last pack of birth control. As soon as cycle day 1 comes, we're officially actively trying for a baby.

To be honest, I'm a mix of nervous and excited. I'm nervous because I honestly don't know how my body is going to react. Unlike other women who found out they struggle with conceiving by trying for x amount of months and then going to an RE for help, I found out I had PCOS after my period mysteriously disappeared  for four months in a row. Ever since then, we've been working on my hormone levels to ensure that my body is healthy enough to house a baby. We've never actually tried to conceive before now so I'm not sure what my body is going to do. This is also the reason why I'm not 100% sure what "flavor" of blogger I am. I don't know if I will struggle with infertility, so I'm not sure if I'm an infertility blogger (or does the use of Metformin and potentially Clomid already put me in that category?) I'm certainly not a mommy blogger  yet. I guess I'm just in that strange wait-and-see period.

Dr. B said that the next three months after a women goes off birth control are her best chances of getting pregnant. However, last time I went off BC, my period disappeared for four months because my body wasn't ovulating on its own. I think our current plan is to try "naturally" for three months, and then talk about going on Clomid to force my body to ovulate if it seems to be falling back into its old ways.

I ordered a pack of 50 OPKs (ovulation predictor kits) and 10 pregnancy tests off Amazon as well as a new basal thermometer because I'm pretty sure mine is on the fritz (you'll understand when you see this cycle's chart.) Dr. B wants me to use the OPKs from cycle day 11 until we get a positive. This paired with my Fertility Friend app on my iphone will hopefully give us the best chance we have of *ahem* doing the deed on my most fertile days.

Keegan has been really funny throughout this entire thing. He's definitely warmed up to the idea of having a little one running around and I think he's getting excited (or he's just excited about the sex...) We keep having the same conversation:

Him: This whole thing is so strange.
Me: Why?
Him: Well, for twenty-some-odd years of my life, I've been told by everyone to use protection, not to knock up a girl, and to think that we're actually trying to do something that has been so "bad" for most of my life is just...strange.

I agree, it is kind of....strange. To think that if we succeed at making a baby our first time around, we could have a new addition to our family by Thanksgiving. If it takes us two tries, the baby could potentially have the same birthday as Keegan (December 20,) my sister (Christmas day,) or my aunt (the 26.)

We'll see what happens. I'm starting to see what other IF bloggers mean when they talk about waiting. Waiting for my cycle to start. Waiting for my fertile days. The dreaded two week wait. The whole process is just a load of waiting with a few *ahem* active days. At least I now feel like we're working towards the end goal where as before, when I was just popping pills every morning and night, I felt like I wasn't really doing anything. I was itching to get started and now that we are, I'm ready.