The Reason For Going Private

First of all, I want to apologize. It seems that I made my last post a bit dramatic, which caused a lot of you to inquire if we're ok as well as send us your good thoughts. While those good thoughts are very much appreciated, I feel like they were given under false pretenses.

We're fine, in fact, we're better than fine. We're pregnant.

Some of you may have guessed, and I know some of you already knew since I posted fairly frequently about it on Twitter. I have wanted to tell you guys since day one, but I have suspicions that close family members have found my blog, and we don't want to spill the beans until we see (or don't see) a heartbeat.

We found out on November 30, the Saturday after Thanksgiving which was 11 DPO. All week I had felt like my uterus was full of rocks, and my mom was talking about grabbing drinks that night, so I decided to test. Before the rest of my family woke up, I peed on a First Response test and snuggled back in our pull out bed in my family's living room next to Keegan. I kept the test in the wrapper until the 3 minutes were done, and then had him look at it.

He said something about there being a second line, but it not being as dark as the test line. I grabbed the test out of his hands, and lo and behold, there was a second line.

I quickly texted Sarah and Adi to get their opinions, and they both agreed there was a faint second line. Adi suggested getting a blue dye test to try, which I took on Sunday at 12 DPO. 

The line was very faint which made me nervous, but we were on our way back to Mississippi where I had numerous internet cheapie tests that I could obsess over. The top tests in both groups above are from Sunday (12 DPO) and the bottom two in both groups are from Monday (13 DPO.)

Monday (12/2) was a mad house for me; I was supposed to leave Tuesday for a four day training in Dallas so I was rushing around making sure everything was set for the trip as well as playing phone tag with my RE. My RE wanted to do a beta as quickly as possible, but since I was going to be out of town, it got pushed back until this week. I was supposed to get it on Monday (12/9,) but Dallas got a freak ice storm, so my flight that was supposed to leave Friday (12/6) didn't leave until Monday. I finally got my first beta on Tuesday which I wore my lucky socks from Melissa to. 

My first beta was 1,328 at 5 weeks exactly. My RE called personally to congratulate me and we scheduled my second beta for Thursday as well as my first ultrasound for 12/23. I just got my results for my second beta which was 3,021 at 5 weeks, 2 days which equals a doubling time of 40 hours. 

We're still scheduled for our first ultrasound on 12/23 where we hope to see a heartbeat. We were offered an appointment on 12/20, but I have a work meeting that day that I can't miss, and it's also Keegan's birthday. Even if I didn't have a work meeting, I probably would have declined that appointment anyways because I don't want his birthday to be tainted just in case we don't see a heartbeat. 

There is the chance of twins. When we had our appointment with our RE in November, it was the day after ovulation, and we were able to see that two eggs had released. I've checked, and my beta levels are slightly elevated for a singleton, but I have a real life friend who's pregnant with twins and her first beta was 40, so I feel like the numbers don't really tell much. 

We had the option of doing our first ultrasound with an OB here in town, but we decided to drive the two hours to our RE just in case we don't see a heartbeat. She'll be the one to help us through the miscarriage, and I want to be able to talk next steps with her if need be. 

I think that's everything. Like I said above, I wanted to say something sooner, but I'm afraid of our parents finding out we're pregnant through the internet instead of in person. If we see a heartbeat on 12/23, we're going to tell our immediate families over Christmas. Once everyone who we feel needs to be told in person is told, I'll make my blog public again. I believe I'm going to continue to post here throughout my pregnancy, but we'll see what happens. 

I want to thank you all for your continued love and support. I totally understand if you need to step back or unfollow, please do whatever you need to take care of yourself.