When I had my HSG back in June, my doctor mentioned that he wanted us to try naturally for three more cycles since the chance of conception increased after the "flushing out" of an HSG.
Six days ago, my third cycle came to a close when everyone's favorite aunt came a knockin'.
I knew that I had to make an appointment with Dr. B to discuss our next steps, but it took me a few days to do so. In all honesty, these last three months have been somewhat of a nice break. Of course we were still trying our best to get pregnant with temping, taking OPKs, and sexing at the right times, but it was nice not having to go in for blood work and ultrasounds every few weeks.
Sometimes I wonder if the reason that I'm not getting pregnant is because I don't want it enough. Because I'm not excited about going back for blood work, ultrasounds, a stricter diet, and whatever our next steps will be. Because I'm not doing a no carb, no dairy, vegetarian, vegan, full fat diet while drowning myself in pineapple and pomegranate juice. Because I'm not working out 7 days a week. Because I'm not taking supplements and herbs and doing acupuncture.
If I wanted it bad enough, I'd be doing all of these things, right? But I'm not.
Lately I've been feeling somewhat lost on our TTC journey. I think its mostly because for these last three months, we've been kind of floating along, trying our best when it comes time, but ultimately just waiting until we can move onto our next steps, whatever they will be. I have an appointment with Dr. B on Thursday where hopefully we'll figure out what we're going to do next.
Typically, I like to go into appointments with a plan already set in my head, and it takes a lot for Dr. B to convince me otherwise. However, I'm not sure where I want to go next. Logically, ovulation drugs would be our next step, but the last time we discussed it, Dr. B was very much against them and more in favor of jumping to IUIs. As it stands now, I'm going to bring up ovulation drugs one more time, and if he's still not willing to go down that path, I may look into seeing another doctor. I just feel like jumping straight to IUI is too drastic, especially since as far as we know, there's nothing wrong with Keegan's side of things.
I'm sorry if this post is hard to follow. I'm having an internal debate about feeling like I'm not doing enough to get pregnant while not wanting to jump to fast into hardcore treatments. Hopefully after Thursday we'll have a solid game plan and I'll feel less like I'm just floating around, hoping for the egg to get frisky with the sperm.