Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Back In The Saddle...er....Stirrups

When I had my HSG back in June, my doctor mentioned that he wanted us to try naturally for three more cycles since the chance of conception increased after the "flushing out" of an HSG.

Six days ago, my third cycle came to a close when everyone's favorite aunt came a knockin'.

I knew that I had to make an appointment with Dr. B to discuss our next steps, but it took me a few days to do so. In all honesty, these last three months have been somewhat of a nice break. Of course we were still trying our best to get pregnant with temping, taking OPKs, and sexing at the right times, but it was nice not having to go in for blood work and ultrasounds every few weeks.

Sometimes I wonder if the reason that I'm not getting pregnant is because I don't want it enough. Because I'm not excited about going back for blood work, ultrasounds, a stricter diet, and whatever our next steps will be. Because I'm not doing a no carb, no dairy, vegetarian, vegan, full fat diet while drowning myself in pineapple and pomegranate juice. Because I'm not working out 7 days a week. Because I'm not taking supplements and herbs and doing acupuncture.

If I wanted it bad enough, I'd be doing all of these things, right? But I'm not.

Lately I've been feeling somewhat lost on our TTC journey. I think its mostly because for these last three months, we've been kind of floating along, trying our best when it comes time, but ultimately just waiting until we can move onto our next steps, whatever they will be. I have an appointment with Dr. B on Thursday where hopefully we'll figure out what we're going to do next.

Typically, I like to go into appointments with a plan already set in my head, and it takes a lot for Dr. B to convince me otherwise. However, I'm not sure where I want to go next. Logically, ovulation drugs would be our next step, but the last time we discussed it, Dr. B was very much against them and more in favor of jumping to IUIs. As it stands now, I'm going to bring up ovulation drugs one more time, and if he's still not willing to go down that path, I may look into seeing another doctor. I just feel like jumping straight to IUI is too drastic, especially since as far as we know, there's nothing wrong with Keegan's side of things.

I'm sorry if this post is hard to follow. I'm having an internal debate about feeling like I'm not doing enough to get pregnant while not wanting to jump to fast into hardcore treatments. Hopefully after Thursday we'll have a solid game plan and I'll feel less like I'm just floating around, hoping for the egg to get frisky with the sperm.

13 comments:

  1. Did he not order a sperm analysis?? We're doing SA and my HSG the same day, so we rule out issues for both of us before heading to ovulation drugs. But Femera is definitely before IUI for us, unless the SA comes up really bad, which only makes sense to me since *I* definitely have a problem ovulating, but we don't know if there's a sperm issue. Your doctor sounds backwards. Too bad you couldn't see that other one..

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    1. We have done a SA on Keegan and all of his numbers came back fine expect for the total amount which was a little low, but can fluctuate daily. Dr. B doesn't want to do ovulation drugs with me because with weight loss and Metformin, we've gotten me to ovulate on my own. Adding in ovulation drugs will increase our chance of multiples which makes Dr. B nervous. I just feel like jumping to an IUI would be like skipping a step, but that's only because that's the route that I've seen so many other women take.

      I would love to see a different doctor, (not that I dislike Dr. B, but a doctor that has more experience with IF,) but that would mean moving up to an RE which is in no way covered by our insurance. I want to see how far I can go with Dr. B since he's an OB/GYN and covered.

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  2. Could you get a second opinion from another OB? Maybe someone in another group but still within your insurance guidelines?

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    1. I think that if Dr. B doesn't work out, I'm going to look into a woman's group that is about 45 minutes away that my boss suggested that should be covered. If that also doesn't work out, then I'll look into an RE. I figure if two OB/GYNs can't help me, it's probably time to talk to an RE anyways.

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  3. I've had those "I'm not doing enough" thoughts. I didn't give up alcohol or coffee. I didn't do tons of acupuncture (tried it, didn't like it). I didn't stop working out (funny, since you're worried about the opposite). It seems no matter what we do, we'll always wonder. At some point you just have to live your life.

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    1. I completely agree! I know plenty of women who have terrible diets who get pregnant over and over again, so I have a really hard time believing that giving up anything - or everything - would make any difference at all. But still, I can't help but think that maybe if I were more willing to make drastic changes, it would finally happen. I have to tell myself every day that that is not the case. If it were that easy, REs would be dieticians, not medical doctors.

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    2. "If it were that easy, REs would be dieticians, not medical doctors." Thank you! That's such a true statement. Obviously having a good diet, working out, etc., is helpful and probably won't hurt anything, but just because I'm not killing myself with a diet doesn't mean I won't get pregnant. Sometimes I have to remind myself that we have a medical reason as to why we're not pregnant and that's something that probably won't be fixed with a diet.

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  4. I'm on a break too - and I agree, it's been nice! Glad you had some time off - thinking about you!

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  5. personally I think IUIs are more natural than taking drugs. I have been doing both so I am not judging...I just think all the IUI is doing is making the sperm as healthy as it can be and then saving it a trip by squirting it right next to the egg. The drugs are seriously messing with your hormones and forcing you to create more follicles and then you spit out multiple eggs and you only have so many of those! To me drugs seem way more extreme. I chose to do the drugs and the IUIs because my husband doesn't have a sperm issue so the IUI alone didn't really increase our chances. As for "not wanting it bad enough"...girl, you cray cray! It is so hard to regulate and monitor EVERY little thing we put our bodies through while TTC...I have done SO many different things and it STILL didn't produce a BFP so don't feel bad.

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  6. I think you should go with your gut. If you think ovulation drugs should be your next step, then I hope it can be! When we were starting out, my doctor explained her policy on oral meds and just how many/what size follicles she would allow me to trigger with in order to avoid multiples. She was very confident in her experience and felt that the risk of multiples would be quite low if I was monitored well. (Of course, we then had to go to IVF and got twins, but that's another story!) Anyway, point being, if Dr. B isn't comfortable with Clomid etc. but that's really something you'd like to try, maybe you could find another doctor who is? Also, I think we've all been there in terms of blaming ourselves, but as others have said, people who are in far less optimal "fertility shape" seem to have no problems, so try not to be too hard on yourself. You are doing a ton to help yourself out!!

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  7. eggs and spermies totally need to get frisky as much as wives and hubbies do!

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  8. It's definitely not because you don't want it enough, or aren't doing enough! Sometimes unfortunately there's not much you can do "naturally" and you just need the help of a doctor. I know as humans we want to be in control of our situations, sometimes so bad we even blame ourselves because then it's our fault and at least we can understand that. If it's our fault that means we can do something to fix it. We don't like not knowing why.

    I know people who were prescribed ovulation drugs even when they ovulated on their own and their infertility was just unexplained. It does seem like the next step. I think it's supposed to not only make you ovulate if you don't, but also make the eggs better. It can also increase the number of eggs released which would give you a better chance of one of them being fertilized and implanting. And it can increase your progesterone too! I found a study that gives these success rates for people with unexplained infertility:
    No treatment - 1.3-4.1%
    Insemination, no ovarian stimulation - 3.8%
    Clomid + intercourse - 5.6%
    Clomid + insemination - 8.3%
    Injectable meds + intercourse - 7.7%
    Injectable meds + insemination - 17.1%

    So you can see that even for people who ovulate Clomid had a better success rate than IUI, and they have an even better chance if they use them together. Clomid is also cheaper than IUI so it makes sense to try that first.

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