It hit me the other day on my way to work that come August(ish) I won't be pregnant anymore. My pregnancy will be over, and I'll be back in my whacked out body that doesn't ovulate on its own.
I was thinking about what I'm going to do after pregnancy with this broken body of mine. I could go back on birth control to force my body to cycle each month, but my gut is telling me this isn't the right option. I can only imagine how difficult it'll be to remember to take a pill every day with an infant around, and we don't want to rule out the possibility of a "normally" conceived pregnancy.
I could just let my body do its thing without the help of medications, but how do I know when the "no period after birth" period has ended, and when my body not cycling on its own has started? The only reason my PCOS was diagnosed was because my body didn't cycle on its own for nearly 6 months after coming off birth control.
My body does seem to cycle on its own while on Metformin, but I don't think that's safe to take while breastfeeding, which I hope to do (still need to talk to my OB about Metformin and breastfeeding.)
Keegan and I have decided that if we're going to be lucky enough to have another child, we want to try and have him/her be close in age to Breadcrumb, so we'd start trying again after a year or so. We've also decided that we'll try three cycles "naturally" (probably with the help of Metformin,) but if we're not successful in that time frame, we'll go back to our RE.
But then I start thinking about driving the 3 hours to an RE appointment while having a baby. We have no family in town, so we couldn't drop Breadcrumb off at his grandparents. There's a chance he'll be in daycare/preschool, but I'm trying to shift my work schedule around so he won't have to be (most of the daycares around here are anything but trustworthy.) Even if he is in daycare 3 out of the 5 days of the week, what are the chances of appointments falling on those days, especially if we have to move to IUI or IVF?
We've also discussed adoption. Adoption is very close to both of our hearts, and something we want to pursue eventually, but giving up so much control scares me. Just from reading blogs, I've learned that some birth mothers want their child to be the first, or the only child in the home, so would having a biological child lessen our chances of getting matched? There's also the fact that we'd have to give up the idea of having Breadcrumb be close in age to his sibling, depending on what age range we decide to look into.
I know I should be thankful for the little life growing inside of me, (and believe me, I am!) and I shouldn't worry about something that's months and years in the future, but it's hard. It's hard to realize that we won't be able to just have sex when we feel the time is right to add to our family. I'm going to have to go back on medications, getting poked with needles, early morning dildo ultrasounds, miles of driving. Adding to our family is much more complicated than the "normal" couple out there, and it scares me.
Any one else out there figured out what they're going to do after pregnancy? Any mothers have advice or suggestions? I know this is something that really needs to be decided between myself, Keegan and my OB, but any advice would be appreciated.
I've thought it about it a little. People keep telling me that "pregnancy cures infertility" so I'll probably get pregnant naturally soon after I give birth. I can't begin to describe how sore my eyes are from all the eye rolling. The thing is, a part of me really hopes that will happen, and we won't need our frozen embies. But the rational part of me knows that we're looking at at least one frozen transfer. Like you, we have to travel about 3 hours each way for the RE. The good news is that the baby will be in daycare, so it shouldn't be a huge problem. If we use up all our frozen embies without getting pregnant again, that will likely be the end of the road for us. We may continue to try naturally for a while, but another IVF cycle is too much of a financial burden and we've already decided that adoption isn't right for us.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you will have a drop in daycare by the time you decide to try again, or you'll connect with someone who may be able to watch your baby for the day on short notice. It's something to plan for, if you decide to go that route.
I've heard the "pregnancy cures infertility" line as well and I'll admit, I hope we're lucky enough to be one of those success stories, but my logical brain knows those chances are so tiny.
DeleteWe have thankfully connected with another couple here in town that is currently pregnant with twin girls after IVF, so if our friendship continues like I hope it does, I could see them being a place for us to leave Breadcrumb with on short notice. So many things can happen between then and now though, so it's useless to try and plan, but so hard not to think about!
I was really hoping that my body would reset after pregnancy and begin ovulating on our own, so I was not okay with going back on any hormonal BCP, so we used condoms. I breasfed for 13 months, so into September. In December I had an annual physical scheduled. Leading up to that appointment I contacted my RE to ask if I should or should not go back on BCP. She said that with BF for 13 months and having been stopped for 3, if my cycle was going to return, it would have already. She advised to work my PCP to go back on birth control to decrease my risk of uterine cancer from not having cycles. It was definitely a blow, to me, to have to go back on the pill, but I needed to for my overall health.
ReplyDeleteYa, it's that knowledge from my RE and OB that I'll need to make a decision. It sucks that since our bodies can't do things correctly, we're forced to take measures to decrease even bigger problems from happening!
DeleteMy cycles aren't nearly as out of whack as yours seem to be, but I chose to let them be for now. We aren't ready for another, but I don't want to take hormonal BC, so we just use condoms for now. It's a lot to think about! Weight all your options!
ReplyDeleteYou know, after all these years of being on BC and TTC, I kind of forgot condoms existed....lol
DeleteI just had my postpartum appointment and my midwife said metformin was okay while breastfeeding but she wanted me to wait to take it (until we're ready to TTC again). Anyway, you know I am struggling with this very topic right now so I don't have any other advice, sorry!
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely something I've thought about, but with my endo things are a bit different. I plan to hopefully have one full term pregnancy and either get a hysterectomy at the same time as a c-section or shortly after. We won't try for pregnancy again. We will look into traditional adoption or foster-to-adopt when/if we feel like expanding our family.
ReplyDeleteEven before we started TTC officially we decided I would never go back on BC. To stop the increased chance of uterine cancer from not having cycles my gyn had me take provera every 45 days, after taking a pregnancy test just in case. I know my IRL friend with PCOS felt pretty strongly about never going on BC again even if they should get pregnant, but now that they actually are pregnant I don't know if she feels the same.