It hit me the other day on my way to work that come August(ish) I won't be pregnant anymore. My pregnancy will be over, and I'll be back in my whacked out body that doesn't ovulate on its own.
I was thinking about what I'm going to do after pregnancy with this broken body of mine. I could go back on birth control to force my body to cycle each month, but my gut is telling me this isn't the right option. I can only imagine how difficult it'll be to remember to take a pill every day with an infant around, and we don't want to rule out the possibility of a "normally" conceived pregnancy.
I could just let my body do its thing without the help of medications, but how do I know when the "no period after birth" period has ended, and when my body not cycling on its own has started? The only reason my PCOS was diagnosed was because my body didn't cycle on its own for nearly 6 months after coming off birth control.
My body does seem to cycle on its own while on Metformin, but I don't think that's safe to take while breastfeeding, which I hope to do (still need to talk to my OB about Metformin and breastfeeding.)
Keegan and I have decided that if we're going to be lucky enough to have another child, we want to try and have him/her be close in age to Breadcrumb, so we'd start trying again after a year or so. We've also decided that we'll try three cycles "naturally" (probably with the help of Metformin,) but if we're not successful in that time frame, we'll go back to our RE.
But then I start thinking about driving the 3 hours to an RE appointment while having a baby. We have no family in town, so we couldn't drop Breadcrumb off at his grandparents. There's a chance he'll be in daycare/preschool, but I'm trying to shift my work schedule around so he won't have to be (most of the daycares around here are anything but trustworthy.) Even if he is in daycare 3 out of the 5 days of the week, what are the chances of appointments falling on those days, especially if we have to move to IUI or IVF?
We've also discussed adoption. Adoption is very close to both of our hearts, and something we want to pursue eventually, but giving up so much control scares me. Just from reading blogs, I've learned that some birth mothers want their child to be the first, or the only child in the home, so would having a biological child lessen our chances of getting matched? There's also the fact that we'd have to give up the idea of having Breadcrumb be close in age to his sibling, depending on what age range we decide to look into.
I know I should be thankful for the little life growing inside of me, (and believe me, I am!) and I shouldn't worry about something that's months and years in the future, but it's hard. It's hard to realize that we won't be able to just have sex when we feel the time is right to add to our family. I'm going to have to go back on medications, getting poked with needles, early morning dildo ultrasounds, miles of driving. Adding to our family is much more complicated than the "normal" couple out there, and it scares me.
Any one else out there figured out what they're going to do after pregnancy? Any mothers have advice or suggestions? I know this is something that really needs to be decided between myself, Keegan and my OB, but any advice would be appreciated.